Your school has decided to end summer vacations and go to year-round schooling. Write a letter to persuade the school board to make the change or to keep the policy.
Dear Dr.O'Malley,
Every time that is free is precious time. When authorities enforce the idea of school through out the year,this is true. Such action is not proper due to parents and children point of view. First it is because of vacation and free time.Secondly we will not learn efficiently. Finally it will affect our time in the sun. This should definitely put into consideration before any action occurs.
Vacation is always something people are looking for.if the school days are distributed,children will not have time to plan a vacation.this is because they will have to miss school,something that parents are not willing to do. The fact of spread school days will likely eliminate most vacations resulting in hard work and stress. Opposers might say that school days will not be very far apart but studies have shown that most people's vacations last for at least a week and will definitely miss school.
You learn when you are constantly reminded my mom always says. When all the students learned something, it is most likely that they will forget by the time they come back for their next school day. People who don't agree might say that it is possible to recollect memories but after a break most people might tend to forget.
Playing in the summer sun keeps students healthy and fit. There will be no more of that when school is running during the summer. Summertime is a time when children have fun all day. It would be like trapping students while the sun is shining bright outside and they are stuck in the school watching the beautiful day pass by. Opposers may say that students can play outside another day,but it really is a shame that they cannot play out on that particular day.
Very well written Abi! You forgot to write sincerely at the end. I agree with you, summer vacation should not end. One thing you could of added, a quote in your introduction. In your second paragraph you had grammar mistakes. One of the mistakes were, you didn't capitalize the T in this. Overall, you did a good job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Abi! It was well written and better than any other persuasive post. You included strong points and reasons. However, this essay has flaws. There are not that many grammar mistakes, but there are a few capitalization errors. Also, I think your counterarguments are weak and you need to add more supporting details. For example, for your paragraph on sun shine. As a detail, you may want to mention that sunshine provides an ample supply of Vitamin D and that numerous people suffer from Vitamin D deficiency.As a counterargument, you may consider mentioning that the sun is harmful too. It can give children sunburn and there is also Vitamin D toxicity. In addition to this, you may want to revise your paragraph on repetition. You should have added a statistic on this there. For example, you could have written, " According to Napoleon Hill, 'Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.'" This would have added to the significance of your paragraph. Also,this is the perfect place to add a personal example. Something along the lines of " It is absolutely horrific to teachers when their students fail to recollect a concept from a lesson they had witnessed only months ago." Furthermore, your first body paragraph, which is about how school days will be spread apart, needs some revision. You're forgetting in this paragraph that students do take vacation on school days and that when days off are spread apart, less will be learned because of the need to review lessons from the days before. In that paragraph, you are forgetting the importance of consistency in a school day. Anyway, you didn't use a quote in your introduction. Besides all of this, it was a great post and represents your improvement. There is, however, still room for more.
ReplyDelete~Wamia